"Then Job replied to the LORD : "I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?' Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. "You said, 'Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.' My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.'" --Job 42:1-6
How many times have I said this very thing to the Lord, God Almighty?
All the times I've cried and said, "Surely I don't deserve this. I've been good. I'm trying to please You, Lord. Where is the blessing? This isn't working. It doesn't make sense. I just want to die."
Then He reveals Himself. The Maker of heaven and earth, "I Am", quietly asks, "Who are you, Jennifer? You dare counsel me on how things should go?" And then I am still.
Then I know. I did not see Him before - not like this. In this battle, this trial, this hurt, this sickness, this agony, I SEE Him. I can almost touch His robe. I can almost feel the holiness in me reaching out for His holiness, like deep calls to deep.
Jesus, lover of my soul, has me now. I am close to Him. I desire Him, yes, I long for Him. I want Him. My beloved is mine and I am his.
"Yes, Jennifer, I will use any means, even Satan himself, to make you ever more mine. I will go to any lengths for my beloved - you, Jennifer. I work all things together for your good, even the things you don't understand, the things too wonderful for you to know."
Father, God, help me to trust You with the things "too wonderful for me to know." Help me to refrain from counseling You, almighty God. I repent of my complaints. I love you. Amen.
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